I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's just like the Real World with babies
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
