I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
