I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
