Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
