I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
