Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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