I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
