Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to calm my uterus...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
