There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
