i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
