his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
