Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
