Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
