So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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