finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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