there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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