I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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