He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
