There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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