She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
