I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
