I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
