all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
