thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
A+ Viking dick
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
