If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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