i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
