only if we run a train.
done.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
