i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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