I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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