I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
