Sry I called you an 8
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
