On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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