Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
