my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
