the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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