you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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