Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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