what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
last night I used snow as a chaser
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
