oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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