and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
