Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
