For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
