If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
