My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
