i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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