so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
now i know why i became what i already was.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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