Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
