when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
