I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
