Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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