i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
