i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
